The Heat Is On!

Because I've been studying full-time this year, my Dearly Beloved has borne the brunt of maintaining the family finances. Accordingly, and in order to make my contribution to the co-nuptial coffers, I have just managed to score a job as a console operator at a local service station.

No, I'm not going to tell you the location, the name of the company, or what shifts I'll be working. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that I don't trust you that much. So don't even ask!

Anyhoo, I've just completed a week's intensive training. Who would have thought there was so much to learn? But believe me, the information overload was phenomenal: Trade Practices Act, Occupational Health and Safety Act, Food Safety Act, as well as all the various safety procedures, money handling and security protocols, and company policies. It really was overwhelming. And then, of course, there's the console itself: authorising the petrol pumps and processing the sales transactions (and, just to make everything even more complicated, being aware of all the discounts, special offers, and product promotions that go with the job!).

Last Friday was my first day on the job. I was only on a shortened shift, but it was nerve-wracking, trying to process transactions without making too many mistakes, and all the while maintaining my professional cool. And, of course, there's always someone who asks you something you don't know or haven't learned yet, or who requires a transaction that you haven't been introduced to while you bed down the basics. Luckily, the manager and a more experienced staff member were on hand for most of the shift, so they were able to correct my stuff ups and give me plenty of useful pointers. Still, by the time I got home, my legs felt like jelly, and I was thinking: what have I let myself in for?

So it's with just a little trepidation that I'm approaching the summer of work lying ahead of me. Of course, I'm hoping this job survives longer than the Summer and continues into next year, but right now it all seems a little daunting. Afterall, when I stopped working full-time, I was leaving a job that was completely familiar to me, in an environment well within my comfort zone. This is all alien territory.

I'm just looking forward to the day when something in my head goes click and it all becomes second nature. But until then, prepare for more tales of woe...

Talk to you soon,

BB.

Quote for the Day: Employment: death without the dignity. (Brendan Behan)

Oh, Happy Day!

In order to get to uni, I have to take a train; and in order to get to the train station, I have to walk. It's a pleasant, fifteen minute stroll - and, this morning, made all the more pleasant by the fact that I had to wear my raincoat.

Yes, you heard me correctly: I was wearing my raincoat.

And that's because it was raining. And not just a passing shower, but a constant, gentle, soaking rain. The kind of rain for which our parched, drought-struck country has been thirsting after. Alas, by the time I made it into the city, it had stopped coming down; and didn't rain for the rest of the day, despite the skies remaining overcast and threatening. We need much more of the kind of rain that fell this morning; but, oh, what a joy to have some rain of this variety at long last.

Let's pray it continues.

Talk to you soon,

BB.

Quote for the Day: Rain is what makes flowers grow - and taxis disappear. (Hal Roach)

Summer Holidays

Well, folks, my particular airwave is going to fall silent for a while as I and my Dearly Beloved take a short break.

Hope you and yours have a restful and safe New Year, and I'll resume normal service shortly.

Peace and Light to you all.

Talk to you soon,

BB.

Quote for the Day: A holiday is something that makes you feel good enough to go back to work, and poor enough so that you have to. (Rev. James Simpson)

Game Over

My Dearly Beloved and I get married today.

Woo hoo.

Talk to you soon,

BB.

Quote for the Day: I will. (BB)

Like Sand Through the Hourglass....

Today marks the beginning of the countdown.

Not to the forthcoming Victorian state election. As if I could be bothered with the public policy auction between the right-wing Alternative Liberal Party and the even more right wing Liberal In Name Only Party that constitutes an election campaign these days.

On the contrary, I am talking about the pending nuptials between myself and my Dearly Beloved. In one month from today, we shall be Mr and Mrs BB.

To mark the occasion, I thought I'd post this cartoon by Wiley. He's my favourite cartoonist since Larson, and I thought this one pretty well summed it up.

Let the countdown begin!

Talk to you soon,

BB.

Quote for the Day: All tragedies are finish'd by a death. All comedies are ended by a marriage. (Lord Byron)

Scenes from the South Island

In the New Year, my Dearly Beloved and I will be travelling to the Land of the Long Cloud - New Zealand.

Aside from Auckland, I've not really seen much of the North Island. However, I have travelled throughout the South Island; so, in anticipation of the forthcoming trip, I thought I'd look back through some of my old photos and select some of the best for your viewing pleasure.

That's the great thing about digital technology: although it has, seemingly, rendered conventional photography mostly obsolete, it has also enabled me to load up my old pics and store them electronically. So enjoy!

I look forward to bringing you some pics from the North Island in 07!

Talk to you soon,

BB.

Quote for the Day: Of all noxious animals, too, the most noxious is the tourist. (Reverend Francis Kilvert)

Eureka Street Article

I have had an article published in Eureka Street, an online magazine about current affairs, issues, and theology published by Jesuit Publications. I can certainly recommend this e-mag if you're looking for a quality, thoughtful read to which to subscribe.

Click here for the link.

Talk to you soon,

BB

Wrestlemania

Last week, I completed my theology assignment for the current semester.

It was a wrestle, I can tell you. Not because I struggled with the subject, but because I was so into the subject - there was so much I wanted to say - that I had to: 1) work out a way to coherently order the material in order to properly articulate myself; and 2) work out a way to cram everything I wanted to say into the limited space available.

I know those of you who have struggled with assignments are going to want to hit me, but 2,000 words just isn't nearly enough. Not for me, at any rate. Being naturally verbose (that is, when I put fingers to keyboard) I at least have no difficulties filling up the space. It's just that I have more words than available storage room. As the deadline approaches, I generally find myself tearing out my hair trying to reduce what I've written to something approximating the word limit, and which yet retains its internal coherence.

Now, I'm not bragging, you understand. I appreciate how fortunate I am in having a natural aptitude for writing. But that doesn't mean assignments come any easier; indeed, the process for me is just as frustrating - dare I suggest more so? - as it is for the less lexicographically inclined. And just to prove how difficult, let me tell you now that I re-wrote this particular assignment three times! I'd get about half way through and realise either that I wasn't going to be able incorporate everything I wanted to say in the limited space available, or that my attempts at doing so were preventing me from properly articulating my ideas. So I'd tear up what I'd written (read: select the whole document and press "delete") and start again. And never mind that I'm studying theology: the process was accompanied by many a purple expression that would have scandalised the pious theologian about whom I was writing!

Of course, I realise that things could have been worse. I could, for example, be studying full-time, and face the prospect of having to hand in multiple assignments around the same date. I am accutely conscious of the luxury I have in being able to focus all my time and attention on this one subject. I'm just saying it didn't make this one particular assignment any easier. In fact, it was a struggle: a rip-roaring, knock-'em-down, drag-'em-out, arm-wrestle of an experience. And at the end, I still wasn't happy with what I'd produced; frankly, I reckon I'll be lucky to get a credit for this effort - actually, I'm expecting to merely receive a bare passing grade.

Oh well, at least I finished. Just the exams left for this semester, and then I can not worry about study for about a fortnight (until it comes time to select my subjects for next year). Seven months of agony for two weeks of paradise; it seems a fair deal, especially if it gets me to where I want to go.

Talk to you soon,

BB

Quote for the Day: No-one who cannot rejoice in the discovery of his mistakes deserves to be called a scholar. (Anon.)

Blog For A Slow Day III

I’ve got the go-slows here at Comfy Couch Central, so instead of saying anything intelligent (or, at least, pretending to say anything that could reasonably described as vaguely approaching intelligent), I thought I’d hit you with another couple of lists of Top Tens. Enjoy (or not)!

Top Ten Film/TV Soundtracks

1. Bladerunner - Vangelis
2. Conan the Barbarian - Basil Poledorus
3. The Lord of the Rings - Howard Shore
4. Going Home - Mark Knopfler
5. Cal - Mark Knopfler
6. Saving Private Ryan - John Williams
7. Last Exit to Brooklyn - Mark Knopfler
8. The Sea Kingdoms - Phil Cunningham
9. The Celts - Enya
10. The Princess Bride - Mark Knopfler

Top Ten Books About Religion/Religious Issues*

1. The Problem of Pain - C S Lewis
2. The Sins of Scripture - John Shelby Spong
3. The Great Transformation - Karen Armstrong
4. Necessary Heresies - Peter Cameron
5. Freedom and Fundamentalism - Peter Cameron
6. Buddha - Karen Armstrong
7. Surprised by Joy - C S Lewis
8. A History of God - Karen Armstrong
9. Salvations - S Mark Heim
10. Heretic - Peter Cameron

Well, that should just about do it for another lazy day. I’ll get back to the couch and leave you to get on with your no doubt much more productive life.

Talk to you soon,

BB.

Quote for the Day: Laziness is riding a bike over cobblestones to knock the ash off a cigarette. (Les Dawson)

* As indicated, this list concerns itself with books about religion or religious issues, and not the actual texts that are sacred to particular faith traditions. I have therefore quite deliberately not included texts such as the Bible, the Qur’an, the Dhammapada, etc.

Blog For A Slow Day II

You guessed it! It’s another dreary day here at Comfortable Couch Central, so since I can’t be bothered blogging something creative, here comes another Top Ten list or two!

Top Ten Non-Fiction Books

1. History of the Byzantine Empire (3 vols) by John Julius Nowich
2. A History of Venice by John Julius Norwich
3. The Normans in Sicily by John Julius Norwich
4. The travel books of Bill Bryson
5. The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History by Michael H Hart
6. Criminal Shadows and Mapping Murder by Dr David Canter
7. Written in Blood and A Criminal History of Mankind by Colin Wilson
8. Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer
9. The Anatomy of Motive by John Douglas and Mark Olshaker
10. Cosmos by Carl Sagan

Top Ten Philosophical Works

1. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
2. Moral Letters by Seneca
3. The Consolation of Philosophy by Ancius Boethius
4. The Book of Mencius by Mencius
5. Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu
6. Analects by Confucius
7. The letters and teachings of Epicurus
8. Essays by Michel de Montaigne
9. Discourses by Epictetus
10. The Consolations of Philosophy by Alain de Botton

Well, that little lot should give you something to think about, so I’ll leave you to your ruminations and get back to my existential ennui.

Talk to you soon,

BB.

Quote for the Day: Every person likes to think they're unique, until someone tells them they're different. (P K Shaw)

Blog For A Slow Day

*Sigh*

I suppose this happens to just about every blogger: a slow day where they can think of nothing to say, or there’s nothing much happening that inspires them to commentary or observation. On such days, that hardy perennial of conversation is produced: the Top Ten.

Food, movies, books, colours, people from history, you name it, we can Top Ten it. So, this being the kind of dreary day where I can’t be bothered sharing my thoughts with myself, let alone the world, I’ll give you my own Top Ten.

Top Ten Films

1. Bladerunner
2. Boys Don’t Cry
3. Bullworth
4. American Beauty
5. Rear Window
6. Ryan’s Daughter
7. Starman
8. Lawrence of Arabia
9. Shadowlands
10. The Lord of the Rings

Top Ten Novels

1. The Earthsea novels by Ursula le Guin
2. The Roman Britain novels by Rosemary Sutcliff
3. To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
4. The Claudius novels by Robert Graves
5. All Quiet on the Western Front and Heaven Has No Favourites by Erich Maria Remarque
6. The Dr Tony Hill novels of Val McDermid
7. Fatherland and Archangel by Robert Harris
8. The Rebus novels by Ian Rankin
9. The Inspector Challis novels by Gary Disher
10. The Murray Whelan novels by Shane Maloney

Well, that’s your lot for today. There’ll probably be other slow days, so expect more Top Tens at some stage in the future.

Talk to you soon,

BB.

Quote for the Day: "Learning" is what remains after what one has been taught has been forgotten. (B F Skinner)

Movie Shorts

I am very fond of The Lord of the Rings film trilogy. The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe is somewhat flawed, but still worthwhile. The Harry Potter films I can't stand; and don't even get me started on The da Vinci Code...

However, since it now appears that Hollywood has lost any capacity for originality and is strip-mining literature, not just for movie adaptions but endless sequels, here, for your amusement, are the titles I'd love to see Hollywood dare to turn into movies:

1. The Dorkhead's Code

In this riveting thriller, our hero, a lovelorn professor of Obscurely Idiotic Disciplines That Don't Actually Exist In Reality, is suddenly thrust into the heart of a globe-spanning conspiracy when he stumbles across a horrifying secret: Porpoise Day, a sinister organisation of immensely wealthy greenies, plans to destroy the world petroleum industry by activating a solar array they have secretly assembled in earth-orbit. Aided by the mysterious beauty, Ofcourseimsexy Imfrench, our hero is pursued by mad assassins, turncoat friends, and seriously inept police, as he races against time to destroy the evil dream of endless, cheap energy. Will our hero be able to keep his mind (and hands) off the Gallic Goddess long enough to figure out the bafflingly simple code left by Porpoise Day's latest victim? Will the appallingly bad dialogue and clunky plot twists foil his increasingly frantic attempts to escape from ever more unbelievable close shaves? And who is the Clouseauesque butler-cum-chauffeur who inserts himself into the plot about three-quarters of the way into the story?

2. The Whore of the Bling

An epic saga sweeping across a land of soaring mountains, deep forests, and wide plains (Noo Zulund), it tells the story of Biffo, a humble Widgit, who unwittingly possesses an amulet of immense power: the One Bling, a tinfoil wrapped bangle worth about NZ50c (that is, more than Noo Zulund's entire GDP). Aided by his fellow Widgits - Smallpox, Manicdepressive, and Pillpopper - Biffo sets out on a long quest: to destroy the One Bling once and for all by casting it into the Cracks of Bottom in far-off Makeup, the Land of Extremely Ugly Latex Folk. Along the way, the Widgits encounter the evil servants of Soupkitchen, the Camp (and surprisingly ineffective) Whore of the Bling; the ethereal Lord Enema and Lady Gladhandler, rulers of the Very Camp (and equally ineffective) Elves; and the mysterious stranger Arsingabout and his elfin lover, Analretentive. Will Biffo survive these dangers (and various homoerotic encounters with Smallpox) to destroy the One Bling? Will Manicdepressive and Pillpopper come down from the drug induced high (courtesy of some elvin "bikkies") that had them talking to trees? And why didn't Biffo just throw the One Bling into the recycling bin with the rest of the trash for collection on Tuesday?

3. The Dame, the Prat, and the Scarecrow

This enchanting tale tells the story of four gormless kiddies who are magically transported to a wondrous land of make-believe when they stumble across their grandfather's secret store of fine single-malt scotch. But things go terribly wrong when one of the children, Prat, meets the Dame (otherwise known as Anemia), a cruel sorcoress who has enslaved the land of Narcolepsy by covering it in her excess dandruff. Feeling the "munchies" from his alcohol-induced stupor, Prat sells out to the Dame in return for some Turkish Delight - for Anemia has heard a prophesy that her rule shall end when four spoiled brats with impossibly plumb accents appear to lead the resistence. Betrayed by the Prat, things look grim for the kiddies when, out of nowhere, the Scarecrow appears: the mystical figure Ah-So, who frees them from the clutches of Anemia and teaches the Prat to be slightly less annoying (hence earning him a new name: Git). With the help of Ah-So, the kiddies fight back, leading to a catclysmic showdown with the evil Anemia. Will they win this final confrontation - or will the slight technicality of never having previously worn armour or handled weapons (aside from the fact that they are children) tell against them? Will anyone believe Ah-So's contention that it was perfectly believable for him to return from the dead on account of the fact that he's not really real? And what will happen to the kiddies when granddad finds them lying unconcious among his empty bottles of single malt?

4. Harry Pothead and the Cookie of Hash

Harry Pothead has an unhappy life: not only is he a do-gooding tell-tale who's despised by staff and students alike at the co-ed boarding school he attends, his every attempt to score a date ends with a knee in the cods. All this changes when Harry mistakenly catches a train that takes him to Hogwash, a school for wizards. There he meets the grave Dumbascrud, his new teacher, and two other exiles from the world of disaffected youth: the spotty-faced Ron Scotnomates and the uppity Hermione Chastitybelt. Dumbascrud reveals a terrible secret: the evil Lord Vilebreath has captured the mystical Cookie of Hash, famed for its powers over human emotions. Unless Vilebreath can be stopped, Dumbascrud fears he'll corner the market for mind-altering after-dinner mints. Acting under Dumbascrud's tutelage, Harry, Ron, and Hermoine challenge Vilebreath to a game of Squeamish, a magical duel in which vast quantities of narcotic substances are consumed, and the first person who screams "Ahhhh! Spiders! Get them off me! Get them off me!" loses. At stake: the Cookie of Hash and the comemrcial rights to the recreational drug market of Western Europe. Will Harry triumph - or will he be foiled by his obsession with inventing a protective codpiece that also makes him look well-hung? Will Ron and Hermione discover true love - and will Harry be allowed to watch? Will Alan Rickman avoid being typecast yet again as a scheming, black-clad villian?

I await the phone calls from Hollywood producers (and the royalty cheques) in due course.

Talk to you soon,

BB

Quote for the Day: Ah, sweet pity - where would my love life be without it? (Homer Simpson)

GRRRRRRRRRR!

NOT HAPPY!

For various work-related reasons (hey, you try to put together a 30-odd page submission to the Industrial Relations Commission in less than a day and with only two fingers to do the typing!) I've not been able to view my favourite cartoon site Non Sequitur.

This, 'toon, by Wiley, is the funniest, savviest, most observant cartoon since Larson. I just love it!

Sooooooo....finally having a brief space to check it out this morning before the daily madness begins, I discover to my horror that the link that enables you to see previous days' cartoons is not working!! And it's not just one of those "switch off the PC then switch it on again" jobs either!! All I get is today's cartoon, over and over - a fiendishly frustrating continuous loop stuck in the fabric of cartoon space-time causality!

As Australian Crawl say in that song of theirs: Not a very happy way to start the day.

D'oh!

Talk to you soon (maybe - once I'm in a better mood),

BB

Why not one more idiot on the airwaves?

A caption that says it all, really.

Seriously, though, folks, this blog will be genuinely individual - just like every other blog!

Watch this space for my rants, raves, musings, and pontifications about life, love, music, literature, and a whole lot more.

Talk to you soon,

BB