My Dearly Beloved and I had noticed that she was a bit sluggish and lethargic on Monday; however, as she was still jumping up on the couch to sit next to us, and was not displaying any other outward signs or symptoms, we assumed she had a bit of a stomach bug, or maybe the canine equivalent of the common cold.
However, when we woke up on Tuesday morning, we discovered Connor had been sick overnight. We made an appointment with the local vet to see her in the afternoon, but weren't too worried as she just seemed lethargic and tired, and wasn't in any pain or distress or displaying any other outward symptoms.
She died, very suddenly, about midday. I had been keeping her under one of the ceiling fans as she always preferred being in slightly cooler spaces, with her bowl of water nearby, when Connor suddenly stood up and tried to go outside; she managed to totter a few steps then staggered. I put my arms around her to steady her; she just sighed softly, one long exhalation, and was gone.
Writers talk about the "light going out" of the eyes of the recently deceased, and of their expressions "going slack" - but they are wrong. The light didn't go out of Connor's eyes; they merely went dark. Nor is this being pedantic, for it was not a case of life "switching off"; life had simply departed. And her expression wasn't slack; on the contrary, it had softened, as though the animus, the being that had been the life of this creature had simply slipped the bonds of physicality with Connor's last breath. I can now see why the expression "gave up the ghost" came into existence; it was as though her very essence lifted out of her and drifted away.
Connor was a beautiful creature, loving and gentle and always glad to be around people. She loved being patted and was always very affectionate. Naturally, we were both very upset at her passing; even Lucy could tell there was something wrong and was agitated. How and why did Connor die? We don't know and probably never will, although it appears from what the vet has told us, and what we've been able to work out, that Connor did not die as a consequence of ingesting some poison or toxin. In any event, her death was swift and painless and she did not die alone. She died in my arms; there is some small comfort in that.
In our sadness, my Dearly Beloved and I offered (and still offer) the following prayer to God:
Lord of All Things:
gather unto Yourself this small life,
that in its being provided comfort and joy,
love and companionship;
knowing, as we do, that You love all human life,
so also do we trust that You love all life
that is Your creation;
and so, with that knowledge, and in that trust,
we commit this small life to You,
as it returns now to the cosmos from which it sprang.
In the name of Your Son, our Saviour Christ Jesus,
and through the power of Your Holy Spirit,
grant the being that was Connor peace and rest and happy hunting grounds.
Amen.
I believe that it is the ultimate destiny of all life to come into communion with God. What that communion might represent for non-human creatures, I do not know; but I do not believe it is reserved for humans alone. If that were the case, then all creation would be a hollow joke; but I do not believe that for an instant. And I do not believe the Lord of Light will abandon any part of creation to the finality of death.
Talk to you soon,
BB
Quote for the Day: The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters; He restores my soul. He leads me in right paths, for His name's sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and staff - they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; and my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long. (Psalm 23 - New Revised Standard Version).
1 comment:
RIP Connor... I suspect the couch will be a little less comfy without you.
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