Yesterday, I sat exams for the first time since I left high school - and the first of these was Greek!
You may recall from earlier posts my somewhat hysterical reaction to Greek; the complexities of its grammar, the convolutions of its noun declensions and verbal conjugations. Indeed, by the end of the first day of the pre-semester introduction, I was ready to chuck the whole subject in before I'd even started - that, and a good deal more besides! To say Yours Truly came close to a complete emotional breakdown is an understatement of vast proportions!
But I decided to stick at it - not so much from hope as sheer bloody-minded stubbornness. Even as other members of the class began to fall away and decide it was too tough to continue, I ignored the rising tide of panic within my cowardly heart and pretended to absorb the information my lecturer provided in ever-increasing abundance. Ultimately, as the class numbers stabilised, I found an effective mechanism for dealing with my fear: I resigned myself to failure.
Now, before you object too strenuously and start banging on about the need to keep up a positive attitude and all the rest of that optimistic guff, let me tell you that it worked very successfully. Resigning myself to failure meant I no longer approached my Greek classes with trepidation: indeed, an air of serene detachment seemed to pervade the whole of my being. And it must have done some good, because against all expectations, I kept on passing the weekly tests that were part of the subject assessment. And that's the joy about not having any expectations: because this state, being a form of expectation in itself, always produces joy when it is not fulfilled. The expectation that does not exist cannot be unfulfilled - it can only be joyously contradicted.
So do I think I've passed the subject? Who knows; for myself, a bare pass will be good enough, and anything beyond that an unlooked-for bonus. But let this be a lesson to the rest of you: never underestimate the constructive power of negative thinking.
Talk to you soon,
BB.
Quote for the Day: Optimism is the digitalis of failure. (Elbert Hubbard)
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3 comments:
My spy tells me that you left the Greek exam quite early, so I reckon you must have either blitzed it, or else had so few clues that you gave up and ran away to cower in a corner somewhere in foetal position.
(I somehow doubt it was the latter)
Oh, I didn't leave that early...there was only fifteen or so minutes left on the clock...and someone left before me, and a few others immediately afterwards...
I do remember remarking to a fellow examee that the test didn't seem as onerous as I expected - probably a bad sign! ;0)
Mr BB:
I am quite frankly horrified at this approach. For me optimism is always valuable. It keeps one's eyes on "the prize" and one's hand to the ploughshare. There is indeed much to be gained from a positive approach.
Indifference be damned - there is great reason for hopeful expectation.
I remain, sir, yours,
SB
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